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Love Code Quiz
How strong is your relationship?
Assess how you’re doing with the six essential relationship functions. Get immediate results with the
Love Code Quiz.
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Give
Giving love is the motor of your relationship. You cannot get from your relationship anything that at least one of you is not giving. The more love you give, the more love you have.
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Mark answers “
true
” or “
false
” ONLY if you believe it is accurate for both of you.
We feel loved by one another.
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True
False
Unsure
We consciously put energy into making sure we both feel loved by one another.
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True
False
Unsure
We feel respected by one another.
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True
False
Unsure
We express appreciation for one another on a daily basis.
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True
False
Unsure
We feel accepted by one another.
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True
False
Unsure
We respect one another’s opinions and beliefs.
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True
False
Unsure
We comfort one another when we are upset.
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True
False
Unsure
We consider one another’s feelings when making decisions.
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True
False
Unsure
We listen to one another.
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True
False
Unsure
We are verbally affectionate with one another.
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True
False
Unsure
We hug, kiss and touch throughout the day.
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True
False
Unsure
We express our admiration for one another most days.
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True
False
Unsure
We cuddle or touch throughout the night.
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True
False
Unsure
We experience positively passionate moments in our relationship.
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True
False
Unsure
We make time for moments of intentional connection every day (eye contact, touch, conversations, etc.).
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True
False
Unsure
We have sex frequently enough to satisfy us both.
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True
False
Unsure
We have sex in ways that satisfy us both.
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True
False
Unsure
We feel sexually desired.
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True
False
Unsure
We put thought and energy into making one another feel special.
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True
False
Unsure
We put effort into creating surprises for each other such as thoughtful gifts, acts of kindness, and introducing new experiences.
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True
False
Unsure
We are mutually invested in nurturing, growing and protecting our relationship.
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True
False
Unsure
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Total true answers - Give
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Percentage - Give
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Receive
If the motor of a relationship is to give love, receiving love is the fuel that keeps the motor running. Receiving love requires an open heart and the vulnerability to let love in. Receiving is how we say "yes," to love without obstacles, conditions, or doubt. Receiving Love works in tandem with Giving Love.
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Mark answers “
true
” or “
false
” ONLY if you believe it is accurate for both of you.
We are comfortable asking each other for help and support when we need it.
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True
False
Unsure
We are willing to let go of misinterpretations of one another’s words/actions and allow each other to restate what is true for her when there is a misunderstanding that causes hurt.
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True
False
Unsure
We are able to disappoint each other in order to take care of ourselves when it is healthy and necessary for our wellbeing, and the wellbeing of our relationship.
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True
False
Unsure
We accept constructive feedback (when delivered with kindness and love) without becoming defensive with one another.
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True
False
Unsure
We accept comfort from each other when we are hurting.
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True
False
Unsure
We forgive one another for both big and small things when a genuine apology/repair attempt is made.
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True
False
Unsure
We are comfortable receiving gifts from one another.
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True
False
Unsure
We are comfortable asking for and receiving help from the other when it is needed.
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True
False
Unsure
We openly share our needs with one another.
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True
False
Unsure
We believe / expect that our respective essential needs will be met in this relationship.
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True
False
Unsure
We feel worthy of being loved, even when we don't believe we've "earned" it.
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True
False
Unsure
We are comfortable taking care of ourselves without feeling guilty.
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True
False
Unsure
We are willing to pursue our dreams without fear of losing the other.
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True
False
Unsure
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Total true answers - Receive
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Percentage - Receive
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Understand
To Understand Love is the ability to make sense of, and accurately interpret your partner's feelings and behaviors in a way that allows her to feel known. Understanding is an emotional process, not a logical process, thus it requires access to emotions, yours and hers. Deep understanding is what creates intimacy and sustains your friendship.
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Mark answers “
true
” or “
false
” ONLY if you believe it is accurate for both of you.
We both feel safe to share our deepest fears with each other.
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True
False
Unsure
We feel accepted by one another exactly as we are.
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True
False
Unsure
We have compatible views/choice-making about balancing our relationship with other commitments (work, kids, hobbies, social time, etc.)
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True
False
Unsure
We have similar views about the importance of, and roles of, our respective families in our life together.
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True
False
Unsure
We view our relationship as a beautiful love-story that we both longed to experience before meeting one another.
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True
False
Unsure
We have a deep understanding of what makes one another feel joyful and alive.
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True
False
Unsure
We have similar values about money in our lives.
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True
False
Unsure
We have similar values about the role of autonomy/freedom and togetherness/security in our relationship.
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True
False
Unsure
We have similar values about sex in our relationship.
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True
False
Unsure
We share a similar view about what “home,” means.
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True
False
Unsure
We have compatible hopes and aspirations for our individual lives and for our life in general.
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True
False
Unsure
We validate (express understanding for what she is saying) one another's thoughts, feelings and experiences, even when they differ from our own.
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True
False
Unsure
We share similar values about animals/pets.
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True
False
Unsure
We have shared values about parenthood and/or parenting styles.
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True
False
Unsure
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Total true answers - Understand
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Percentage - Understand
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Protect
When you Protect Love, you keep it safe from harm. This requires both partners to manage your emotions and to establish healthy boundaries to support the well-being of both yourself and your relationship.
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Mark answers “
true
” or “
false
” ONLY if you believe it is accurate for both of you.
We are accepting of one another and our differences.
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True
False
Unsure
We only speak positively about one another and our relationship to others.
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True
False
Unsure
We trust that we will always have one another’s back.
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True
False
Unsure
We trust each other with finances.
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True
False
Unsure
We trust each other with friends, aquaintances and co-workers.
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True
False
Unsure
We trust each other with our secrets.
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True
False
Unsure
When we are sick, we take care of each other.
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True
False
Unsure
We can count on each other.
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True
False
Unsure
We are honest with each other.
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True
False
Unsure
We are loyal to one another and our relationship agreements.
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True
False
Unsure
We support one another’s highest good, and biggest dreams.
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True
False
Unsure
We feel secure in our commitment.
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True
False
Unsure
We are both committed to ensuring we can meet our essential needs in this relationship.
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True
False
Unsure
We treat our differences with curiosity and acceptance.
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True
False
Unsure
We intend to make choices that “add to,” not “take away from” our relationship.
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True
False
Unsure
We do not give energy and attention to distractions that will undermine our relationship.
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True
False
Unsure
We communicate our thoughts and feelings openly, even when it is difficult to say/hear.
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True
False
Unsure
We apologize when we are wrong or when we have caused one another hurt.
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True
False
Unsure
We feel emotionally and physically safe and respected by each other.
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True
False
Unsure
We feel safe to express how we feel about anything and everything with one another.
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True
False
Unsure
We actively work to improve how we address our conflicts to minimize the damage to our relationship.
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True
False
Unsure
We engage in meaningful (connected) conversations that involve the sharing of our inner worlds with one another at least once a day.
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True
False
Unsure
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Total true answers - Protect
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Percentage - Protect
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Enjoy
You can Enjoy Love when you take responsibility for creating positive, uplifting, and joyful interactions as well as incorporating novelty and surprise to keep love alive and a feel-good and satisfying experience.
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Mark answers “
true
” or “
false
” ONLY if you believe it is accurate for both of you.
We regularly make time for play in our relationship.
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True
False
Unsure
We are happy to see each other when one of us walks into the room.
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True
False
Unsure
We enjoy talking with one another.
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True
False
Unsure
My partner is my favorite person to spend time with.
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True
False
Unsure
We have a lot of fun together.
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True
False
Unsure
We feel special to one another.
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True
False
Unsure
We laugh a lot.
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True
False
Unsure
We have inside jokes and playful behaviors that we do not engage in with others.
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True
False
Unsure
We enjoy our free-time doing things together.
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True
False
Unsure
We vacation / get away together (just the two of us) at least once or more per year.
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True
False
Unsure
We enjoy running errands, and other tasks involved in day-to-day life, together.
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True
False
Unsure
We share a similar sense of humor.
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True
False
Unsure
We support each other’s healthy pursuit of hobbies and interests and enjoy seeing one another happy.
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True
False
Unsure
Meeting my partner's needs helps me feel connected to her, not controlled by her.
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True
False
Unsure
We find comfort in one another's company.
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True
False
Unsure
We have a satisfying sex life that accomodates both of our desires.
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True
False
Unsure
We encourage one another to engage in activities that fuel aliveness and passion, knowing our relationship benefits from this positive energy.
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True
False
Unsure
We find ways to maintain our individuality/autonomy that add to, not take away from our relationship.
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True
False
Unsure
We celebrate one another's successes with joy/excitement.
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True
False
Unsure
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Total true answers - Enjoy
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Percentage - Enjoy
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Prioritize
When we Prioritize Love, we move from a mindset of "me" to one of "we.” When you have decisions to make, free time to spend, love to give, and interpretations to make, your love is the first to be considered.
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Mark answers “
true
” or “
false
” ONLY if you believe it is accurate for both of you.
We feel important to one another.
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True
False
Unsure
Our relationship is the #1 priority in our life.
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True
False
Unsure
We are accessible to one another 24/7 in case of emergency.
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True
False
Unsure
We each take care of our body, mind and spirit as a way of prioritizing our relationship.
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True
False
Unsure
We share the belief that for our relationship to be strong and healthy, each of us must strive toward being strong and healthy.
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True
False
Unsure
We are able to tolerate disappointing one another in order to take care of our essential needs (like sleep, responsibilities, self-care, etc.)
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True
False
Unsure
We consider what is important to our relationship and we prioritize our time, energy and resources for these things.
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True
False
Unsure
When we have big news, we share it with one another first.
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True
False
Unsure
We place the needs of our relationship above the feelings and demands of others in our life.
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True
False
Unsure
We turn to one another for advice and suggestions.
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True
False
Unsure
We communicate our commitment to and love for one another to those in our life, regardless of our fear of their disappointment or disapproval.
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True
False
Unsure
We make choices that will add to our relationship and avoid making choices that will take away from our relationship.
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True
False
Unsure
We consider one another our most trusted advisor in life.
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True
False
Unsure
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Total true answers - Prioritize
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Percentage - Prioritize
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Contact info
GET YOUR QUIZ RESULTS Provide the following information to receive your quiz results. You will also receive information on related topics such as communication, conflict reduction, sex and intimacy, and more from Michele O’Mara, Ph.D., LCSW, creator of The Lesbian Love Codes. Unsubscribe anytime.
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In 5 words or less what is your #1 relationship concern?
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